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Great Newton, who was never beat
Whatever fools may think, sir;
Though sometimes he forgot to eat,
He never forgot to drink, sir:
Descartes took nought but lemonade,
To conquer him was play, sir;
The first advance that Newton made
Was to drink his bottle a day, sir.
d'Alembert, Euler and Clairaut,
Though they increased our store sir,
Much further had been seen to go
Had they tippled a little more, sir.
Lagrange gets mellow with Laplace,
And both are wont to say, sir,
The philosopher who's not an ass
Will drink his bottle a day, sir.
Astronomers! What can avail
Those who calumniate us;
Experiment can never fail
With such an apparatus:
Let him who 'd have his merits known
Remember what I say, sir;
Fair science shines on him alone
Who drinks his bottle a day, sir.
How light we reck of those who mock
By this we'll make to appear, sir,
We'll dine by the sidereal clock
For one more bottle a year, sir:
But choose which pendulum you will,
You'll never make your way, sir,
Unless you drink - and drink your fill -
At least a bottle a day, sir."
